Radioactive Belt Buckles and Rotary Clubs

Dear Diary

One of my colleagues contacted me about a rumor going around the Occupied Territories that the Zionists had flooded the markets with radioactive belt-buckles in order to make Palestinian men sterile, and therefore unable to breed.
He asked me if it was true.
I said that I didn’t think so, but that I thought it was a good idea.
Of course, like those clever Iranian journalists, Hamas has been able to expose our evil plans at almost every turn. Articles 22 and 28 of their Charter even explains:

For a long time, the enemies have been planning, skillfully and with precision, for the achievement of what they have attained. They took into consideration the causes affecting the current of events. They strived to amass great and substantive material wealth which they devoted to the realisation of their dream. With their money, they took control of the world media, news agencies, the press, publishing houses, broadcasting stations, and others. With their money they stirred revolutions in various parts of the world with the purpose of achieving their interests and reaping the fruit therein. They were behind the French Revolution, the Communist revolution and most of the revolutions we heard and hear about, here and there. With their money they formed secret societies, such as Freemasons, Rotary Clubs, the Lions and others in different parts of the world for the purpose of sabotaging societies and achieving Zionist interests. With their money they were able to control imperialistic countries and instigate them to colonize many countries in order to enable them to exploit their resources and spread corruption there.

Boy! Now I’m going to have to split my commission with the Rotary and Lions Clubs. It’s getting so that a conspirator can’t make an honest living anymore.

We will have to be careful though. Article 7 of their Charter say’s:

The Islamic Resistance Movement aspires to the realisation of Allah's promise, no matter how long that should take. The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him salvation, has said:

"The Day of Judgement will not come about until Moslems fight the Jews and kill them; when the Jew will hide behind stones and trees. The stones and trees will say O Moslems, O Abdulla, there is a Jew behind me, come and kill him. Only the Gharkad tree, would not do that because it is one of the trees of the Jews." (related by al-Bukhari and Moslem).

Hmmm? I wonder where I can buy a Gharkad tree?