Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Guinea Bissau and the Great Boysenberry Conspiracy

Dear Diary

Boy, am I tired. Ruling the world is not as easy one would think it is, and the pay really sucks. I am still awaiting my commission for the whole Asian Tsunami thing from back in December 2005, not to mention Hurricane Katrina. You would think I would get more respect. Stephen and the other elders tell me I need to be patient.
'We've been seeking global domination for centuries', they say. 'What's a few months more?'
I tell you, if I never liked his movies so much I would have told him where to get off. But everytime I became irritated with him I just kept thinking of ET...although Goonies was a little bit dissapointing.
Anyway, I have been moved from the natural disaster division to international politics. George say's its a promotion, but I'm not so sure. I was very proud of the work I was doing and saw a lot of potential in climate change. They've started me out on maintaining the control of our political and economic investments in Guinea Bissau. They will never suspect the role we are playing in the price fixing of their Boysen Berry crop and Macaroon exporting duopoly. Who would suspect that Boysenberry icecream and macaroons will be five cents more expensive next year because of us. Gee, I can just picture the money rolling in.
Anyway, it's been great sharing with you diary. It really helps me focus on our international Zionist conspiracy when I know that I have someone I can confide in.
Till next time.

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