Thursday, June 5, 2008

United Nations: Israel responsible for China/Burmese Crises

Our agent, Newton Hoffer, at the United Nations and has reported back to us regarding the UN's motion relating to Israel's responsibility for the environmental catastrophes that have devistated China and Burma in recent weeks.
Allegations of Weather Manipulation involving cyclones, earthquakes and time-travel are taken very seriously at the UN, especially when they are directed against Israel.
At his own press conference shortly following, the Israeli Ambassador (who once again was not informed of any UN meeting) took exception to charges of environmental war crimes. "If the UN adopts this resolution, which by the way has absolutely nothing to do with China or Burma, every Israeli who carries an umbrella will now be viewed as an 'Obstacle to Peace'. I submit that anything Israel does on any given day, can now be defined as a 'provocation'." At that moment, the Libyan Ambassador quickly rose to second the motion, before realizing that he was at a press conference and not a formal vote.
In Washington, US President George W. Bush reaffirmed America's commitment to stand alongside Israel and veto the anti-Israel resolution. He also offered to table his own resolution where the word Junta would be spelled with an 'H' instead of a 'J' "so you don't sound like an idiot mispronouncing it until someone finally corrects you".
The UN is now seriously considering this motion as well.

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