Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Harry Potter and the Zionist Conspiracy

In another brilliant example of investigative journalism, the Iranian newspaper, Kayhan, affiliated with the nation's top religious authority, discovered this week that the Harry Potter series of children's books is really a Zionist plot. The article referred to Harry Potter as a “billion-dollar Zionist project", the purpose of which was to “disrupt young minds”.
This discovery represents yet another setback for our conspiratorial efforts. Despite suggestions that J.K. Rowling (the "J" obviously standing for "Jew") being advised to avoid such titles as "Harry Potter and the Matzah Ball Soup", or "Harry Potter and the Wholesale Discount", the Iranians have once again seen through the subtext of Harry's magical world. Clearly the bearded men in long black robes are metaphors for ultra-orthodox Jews, and the secret books of magical incantations represent the Talmud and Kabbalah. Even the spells muttered by our heroes in defense against the dark arts are really transliterated Hebrew prayers which call for the advancement of the Jews over that of the "muggle" (AKA non-Jewish) world.
Consider the Wizard world - a secret dimension that exists both within and parallel to our own - why this is clearly analogous to the workings of the Elders of Zion whose hands can slip on and off the controls of power without the average "muggle" ever knowing about us. I can only hope they never discover what "Desperate Housewives" was really all about.


Ittay said...

There was also some protest in Israel when harry potter came out. but from a tota;ly different perspective.

"The deputy prime minister and minister of industry, trade and employment, Eli Yishai (Shas), opposes the launch of the new book in the "Harry Potter" series on Friday night. Yishai said he intends to issue indictments and impose fines on local distributors of the book who violate the Hours of Work and Rest Law.

Yishai called on book stores not to sell the book on Shabbat, and instead to begin selling it Friday morning or postpone its sale until after the Sabbath.

The Steimatzky chain is planning a major launch for the book this Friday night at the Tel Aviv port. At the rival Tsomet Sfarim chain, the book will be launched at a nighttime event at the Ga'ash branch and will go on sale at other branches Saturday morning.

Yishai said Tuesday that "there must be a limit to the desire to be like other nations."

MK Avraham Ravitz (United Torah Judaism) also criticized the planned sale of books on Shabbat."

Abdolvahab said...

Down with Israel.
it is end of Israel.